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It’s a trend I’ve noticed because over the last few months the girlfriend and I have used about 5 different garages. We drop off the car, don’t hear anything back and then need to give them a call. Which means opening Google and doing a quick search – nothing comes back.

It seems most mechanics are more interested in engines than email. Probably for the best but it makes finding their phone number a task.

The latest culprit is SMC Garage in Shiremoor, Newcastle. So I’ve included their phone number, address and a map at the top of this post to make everyones life a little easier in finding out how to contact this excellent garage.

A little back story -

My girlfriends car is a Ford Ka with a ghost in the machine. Over the last year things have just been going wrong consistently. First it was the alternator – we took it to a recommended garage, they refurbished the alternator and we were off on our way (£150 later). A few days later we break down. Same problem. They fix it and we go on our merry way. A few days later we break down. A new alternator was then fitted at extra cost.

During all of that (about 3 weeks) the communication was dire and we were treated like a nuisance, not a customer.

The wheel bearing was next to go and this was sorted at a different garage (my regular) where we get a hopefully honest appraisal but it’s not cheap (and an extra problem or two is always found that needs fixed).

A couple of months later the car won’t go over 4000 revs and the engine light comes on intermediately.

We take it to a different ‘recommended’ garage and the diagnosis is a faulty o2 sensor. Along with two new tyres and a wishbone for the suspension. £550 bill (this car is getting expensive). But this doesn’t fix the problem! We’re still hitting the 4000 rev mark and can’t get over it. The garage’s explanation “it’ll take a couple of hundred miles to work it’s way out”.

We then take it to SMC Garage – Rob has a look over it and at first thinks it’s the ECU (electronic control unit, in essence the computer brain on the car) and if that’s the case it’ll need to go to Ford. He spends about 30 minutes testing everything (we’d just turned up, nothing booked).

After 30 minutes we’re ready to take the ECU diagnosis and give up – Rob isn’t. He takes it inside and tests more ideas. He comes back with diagnosis. The o2 sensor was faulty and the exhaust manifold has probably been disintegrating as a result. This would be causing the car to get slower and slower and less fuel efficient over time.

He was right.

We leave it with him and a few days later it’s all sorted. An expensive bill awaits but an elusive problem fixed that another garage completely missed.

So I decide to take my car in with a list of ’symptoms’ for them to check over. I drop it off Friday night and pick it up saturday morning.

Out of the list of 4 symptoms they’ve fixed one (plugging the radio back in) and told me the other’s – although a building problem – are too premature to justify fixing and to just bring it back if it gets worse. The exhaust sounding louder than it should is not the result of a hole but the result of a non-manufacturer one being fitted.

I whip out my debit card to pay my bill for their time and I get waved away by Lee. My mind at rest, my radio fixed and bank balance untouched. I like this place.

I’m clearing out some old domain and sites and will be giving Flippa a go. First site up was Investing.cc – a CC tld, one word dictionary domain name. Sold for $200. I’d rather see these .cc domains go for more but their value is hard to gauge.

I’ve put up Jewels.cc and will see how that one goes, if it’s a success I’ve got payday, compensation, garages, psychotherapy and childcare.cc to develop and flip(pa).

Einstein’s definition of insanity was “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. So let’s not be surprised that ‘Well Worth It’, a Woolworths clone in Wallsend, are having a closing down sale.

Frankie Boyle commenting on the Woolworths business model:

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So.. let me fill you in…

It all started with a friend meeting a guy in a train station in Copenhagen.

This guy he had been building up his “pension fund” by placing bets on the stock market following a specific and easy to follow strategy (Yours for only 3 EASY payments of $999! BUT WAIT … THERE’S MORE! Order now and get this free electronic egg whisk and dog cardigan!) .

This strategy aims is to win small pots of profit by placing reasonably safe bets on a website called BetOnMarkets.com – a site where you can put money on the stock market moving one way or another.

After their chat my friend was rather convinced of it’s potential and went in search of the learning more.

Come Christmas day he’d bought the learning materials for his son, my friend, Karl. At first glance I rolled my eyes and made some snide remark about him being scammed. The second thing out my mouth was to ask to borrow it. The optimist is usually preceded by the skeptic.

A couple of days later and I had a rough idea how to work the system.

It was time to start placing paper bets (practice bets with fake money to test the concept). Karl will tell you, my ‘convincer strategy’ (e.g. my internal method of being convinced) is typically longggggg … I need to see proof, examples, theory behind it and then test it for a few weeks before I’m willing to put any trust in it. And by trust. I mean money.

Two weeks later and the results were in:

A profit of £104.80
And this was 10 minutes per day.

So armed with my our new knowledge (we’d placed more paper bets) it was time to cash in and place real bets.

So with £1020 in my pot I wagered £309.46. And now the waiting begins.

My calculations show that a weekly 10% return is near guaranteed (each bet is a 20% return but factor in losses to get 10%) if you control the two main gambling demons – risk and greed. That’s a 10% compounded weekly return. So if you have a pot of £100 to bet the first week, you have a pot of £110 the next week, then £121 the week after.

Over 52 weeks, that transforms an initial £1000 into £142,042.93 – it can be pretty hard to believe the magic of compound interest is that powerful. But it is.

So I’ll be getting some new business cards printed up now.

Chris Porter
Professional Gambler.

I’ll keep you updated…

To give you some idea, that is over 1000 times faster than the typical UK broadband speed.

Today I booked two tickets with FlyBe. While going through the checkout procedure I select my seats and choose the emergency door row so we’ve got some extra leg room.

I go to pay, hit submit, and in my horror realise I’m being charged a £30 seat charge. That’s a charge for sitting, and trust me, there is no standing option – I looked.

Luckily my password was incorrect and it spat back my order giving me the chance to go change the seats from “emergency” which cost £15 to standard.

Back to checkout … and I see a £12 seat charge.

At this point I’m a bit cofused.

Not only am I paying a fee to fly, a fee in taxes, a transaction fee and a fee to have luggage but also a fee to sit during the flight.

So I go back and de-select my seat options and continue. It turns out preselecting a seat guarantees you a place and you are charged for the service. Fair enough, it’s just not made clear.

So dodging this £30 bullet I continue and pay the fees to get us where we’re going.

With a £3 credit card fee on top. Another fee, this time a fee to pay the fees. ffs.

But Uganda is pretty safe and stable and full of great friendly people. What I didn’t realise was I have nothing on Shane Smith and Uganda has nothing on Liberia.

Civil war, naked war lords and cannablism.

This, is the Vice Guide to Liberia.

You: “Hey, do you know the way to Porter’s Coffee Shop?”
Them: “Porter’s Coffee Shop, hmmm, no sorry”.

*big smile time*

You: “It’s down the street, left at the traffic lights and in front of Natwest”
You: *hand them one coffee free voucher*

People want to help people. Altruism makes us feel good and coffee makes us feel even better.